Once upon a time there was a girl with big dreams. When she says big, she means big. Gargantuan. Titanic. We’re talking Broadway bound, New York Times Bestseller (because apparently all books from every author make that cut), walking the red carpet next to Taylor Swift big. So, yeah, big. Her story starts in Pennsylvania in the early 1980s when she was born and, if you know how time works, follows her all the way to the year 2024 where she lives, but not necessarily thrives, in Florida.

She has to warn you that, from here, not every story she has to tell is happy or nice. She would also like to warn you that everyone has their own brand of crazy and her existence is no different! She will always do her best to let her readers know when she is about to delve into the “why am I on this ride and how do I get off?” portions of the story. That way you can decide for yourselves whether or not you want to stand under whatever storm cloud is hovering over her head that day.

But please understand that it’s not only going to be doom and gloom as drawn to the darker side of life as she might be. Our dear author does, on occasion, like to be a complete goofball. A comedienne of fantastic proportions and unbeatable wit! Big. Gargantuan. Titanic. You get the picture! In other words, she wanted to share parts of her story, her humor, and darkness because she knows there are other women out there just like her. Women who wear a grown up’s body but, somehow, are still convinced they started their freshman year in high school just last week when, in reality, it’s been way more than ten years ago.

She will touch upon everything and anything from that time she was in a blockbuster movie the summer of 2004 to that time she completed a 10-question essay test in Sociology class, skipped one of the 10-point questions because she was clueless, and the professor was so impressed with her honesty when she brought it to his attention (because he gave her 100% when it should have been 90%), that he let her have the 100% anyway! (And she is still not 100% convinced that anyone should be that honest all the time!). For instance, one of the scenarios in this paragraph is absolutely a lie! If you say it’s the blockbuster scenario, you may be correct, but you can’t be both correct and my friend so…..here we are.

In closing (because she always wanted to end something that way), she will count the many ways that she’s just pretending to be a grown up. She’s a fauxn up! When she came up with the term in her head, it sounded good at the time so just roll with it, why don’t ya? Anyway, stick out around and, please, feel free to share your own crazy stories with her!

Breathe,

Siemelle