Hey, come closer. I have a secret.

A BIG SECRET!

It’s a secret, so you can’t tell anyone. If you tell, there will be consequences. It’ll mostly just be me being sad, but those are some heavy consequences because you wouldn’t like me when I’m sad. It’s a lot of ugly crying.

Are you ready for my secret?

Have you promised not to tell?

Harold, I don’t trust you, so you can’t know the secret. You can go now and only come back when you’ve learned the art of secret-keeping.

Just wait, everyone.

He’s going.

Alright, he’s gone.

So, I love reading. That’s my secret.

I love reading, and there are tropes that I struggle with.

We already discussed how I’m not a fan of second-chance romance. Other tropes, though, hurt my feelings just as much. So now I shall expand upon my secret and tell you this:

I don’t like instalove in my romance either.

Two strangers have their meet-cute, and instead of the steady build of developing feelings, one (or both) declares the other “the one.” For real, you know this person for a whole five minutes, and you already know that you are going to get married, move to the suburbs, have a house with a dog bouncing in the yard, and have babies with this person?

What the what?

You know all that in five minutes?

What I think this actually is is a case of two people wanting their private bits to be introduced to each other.

But Siemelle, how can you be so unromantic?

I dunno.

I’m talented that way?

I have a hard time understanding how you can meet someone and immediately know they’re the person you’re meant to be with. I’ve known people for years, and I’m still unsure if I want to keep them around!

When it comes to reading, I want to see the feelings and relationship develop in some way. I want to see it turn into love.

Well, I’m going to go find Harold. Break the news to him that I decided not to keep him around. Seriously, he can’t be trusted!

Siemelle