I was up way too early, and have been on the go all day. Breakfast. Store. Another store. Chiropractor. Another store. Then I got really sleepy, followed by a burst of energy that prompted me to work it out by dancing to whatever popped up on my playlist. Now that the bubble of energy has been thoroughly popped, I kind of want a quiet night, but I didn’t want to skip a weekly Sunday post!
Movies!
Between March 22nd and April 19th, I watched a total of eight movies. I’m not going to go into a deep dive. Instead, I’m going to keep it short and sweet. List the movie. Would I recommend it? Yes, no, or maybe. My rating.
When I jolted awake, I remembered that I had plans to write a post tonight. So, here I am.
Hey, did you know I like reading?
It’s true! Reading is kind of a big deal to me. It’s my thing. It’s one of those things that is definitely a part of my personality. I bet I know what you’re going to ask next! Siemelle, how is your reading going so far this year? The answer to that question is ‘not good’. I used to be a much better judge of what books to read. Okay, maybe not so much a better judge, but my taste in books has changed through the years, and I have entered a period where I simply don’t know what I’d like anymore. Because I accidentally passed out tonight, I don’t really have it in me to go through every book I’ve read from January through March. Hell, I don’t think anyone wants to sit through that play-by-play either!
Instead, I glanced at my GoodReads and chose the books to highlight based on “Oh yeah, I remember that one! That was kinda good.” Super literary and scientific, I know. I’m going to give each of them a one-word or one-sentence review and my overall rating out of 5 stars.
Congratulations, ya’ll got off easy tonight.
Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle
I appreciate what the author was doing here. 3/5
The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson
I would find it hard to believe if no one here knew I enjoyed the hell out of this book. 4/5
The Conditions of Will by Jessa Hastings
Messy, but fascinating. 4/5
The Bone King and the Starling by Elizabeth Stephens
I started off worried about the content within, but it turned out fine! 3.5/5
Beautiful Things by Emily Rath
This was written specifically for me, and it’s also the book to beat this year. 5/5
The Housemaid by Freida McFadden
Unexpected. 4/5
The Never-Open Desert Diner by James Anderson
Not necessarily my type of story, but, boy, did it have some amazing quotes! 3/5
This may come as a big surprise to everyone, but I have a tendency to encounter something/someone, love them instantly, and then make that something or someone my entire personality.
Wild, right? It’s true, though. Even in my advanced age, I will latch onto something/someone and obsess for an unspecified amount of time. Years sometimes. I feel I need to clarify, I don’t do this with people I may meet on the daily. If I go to the grocery store and strike up a conversation with someone in the cereal aisle, they are in no danger of becoming someone I obsess over. However, Tony the Tiger has no such protection. Pop culture. When I make something or someone my personality, it has something to do with pop culture/entertainment.
I have never obsessed over Tony the Tiger, though. I promise.
10 Aspects of Pop Culture I’ve Incorporated Into My Personality(or made my entire personality)
I can’t point to any one specific horror movie and say, “There! That’s my obsession!” I started watching horror movies when I was about 4 years old. Highly inappropriate, maybe, but I like to believe I was a very sophisticated 4-year-old. I was a child when Freddy Krueger was at his peak! I had a Freddy doll. As a child, I used to pretend I was little Jamie Lloyd on Halloween night, trying to get away from her murderous uncle, Michael Myers, while I trick-or-treated. To this day, horror is still a part of my personality. My autograph from Robert Englund and Heather Langenkamp hangs proudly on my wall next to my figures of Ghostface, Freddy, Hannibal Lecter, and Radu.
Picture this, teenage Siemelle on the internet in the mid-1990s, coming across a ton of questionable chatrooms, talking to questionable people, hoping that no one picked up the landline (if you know, you know). Amid all of the A/S/L?, I managed to find an environment that housed a vast array of people who loved the written word and were happy to take on the personas of vampires, werewolves, demons, angels, etc. Thus, the era of Simelle role-playing online began. This lasted for years. In fact, I am more than willing to own up to the fact that it became not only a major part of my personality, but an addiction. When you have depression and anxiety, the call to become someone else was dangerous for me. I wanted to be anyone other than who I was. And when I say years, I mean that this aspect of my existence didn’t start to taper off until somewhere around 2014-2016. Now, the majority of what I write is right here, and I am fully me. Unless I decide to start writing as a dryad. I mean, I could be one. You don’t know.
I came into Buffy the Vampire Slayer a little later in the game, but I like to think I discovered it when I needed it most. Joss Whedon being trash aside, the show is probably still my all-time favorite. It has action and adventure. In the course of an episode, I would go through a rollercoaster of emotions – laughing one moment and sobbing the next. It was written well. The characters were fleshed out wonderfully. There is something in the show that anyone can relate to. Whether you dream of being a hero like Buffy Summers or feel like you’re constantly struggling to keep up like Xander Harris. For a show that used monsters as metaphors, the characters were surprisingly human. I haven’t sat down and rewatched the show in years, but these characters are all still very much a part of me!
I will confess that I first saw this movie when I was eight or nine years old. Yeah, I know. Inappropriate, but it was the late 1980s / early 1990s, and it was a very different time. I fell in love with Tim Curry. Yeah, yeah, still wildly inappropriate, but it wouldn’t be my life if something was normal. I fell in love with the idea of “don’t dream it, be it”. The music. The hedonism. It wouldn’t be a stretch to say that this movie guided my sexuality. I still love this film. While there may be long stretches between sitting and rewatching, I do find myself thinking of it from time to time. I used to go to midnight screenings of the film a few years ago, but the cast who performed isn’t around anymore (to my knowledge). The theater where they used to perform also closed down. I’ll have to look into other shadow casts to see if any are active in my county. I’m feeling nostalgic for a good midnight show!
This is a fairly recent development. This is not the only musical on this list to have completely taken over my personality. Heathers sort of latched on and refuses to let go. It’s dark and catchy at the same time. It has no business being as good as it is. Not everyone will share that opinion in the theater world, but this show works for me. Do yourself a favor, give this a listen! Or watch the proshot on Roku! Come back and thank me later.
Here is what I learned from my years loving the musical RENT. People either really love RENT, or they really hate it. Whether you love it or hate it, you can’t deny that it changed the face of musical theater. Let’s be for real, Broadway in the late 1970s and through the 1980s was dominated by the Europeans and Sondheim. Now, before you say anything, Sondheim was a genius, I love Phantom of the Opera as much as the next person, and Les Misérables will stand the test of time. However, by the early 1990s, Broadway needed something new, something bold, something real. Enter Jonathan Larson. Jonathan Larson died before he could see just how much his work would change the course of musical theater. He paved the way for musicals to be something other than traditional, something other than a mega-musical, something other than operatic. He injected something into the world of musicals that was missing. Flawed, everyday humans who were just trying to survive. It resonates.
If you are a reader of a certain age, reading this series was a rite of passage. While I have since read many books far more graphic, gruesome, and shocking, in the 80s and 90s, we thought we were getting away with something by reading this series. Let me just say this – no part of the original series is written well. It’s not. It’s horrible writing. But there is bad writing, and there is writing so bad that it’s awesome. And Flowers in the Attic, Petals on the Wind, If There Be Thorns, Seeds of Yesterday, and Garden of Shadows all are so bad that they are fuckin’ amazing. I know that the ghostwriter for V.C. Andrews has since added more books to the series, but I can’t speak to those new additions. That original set, though? They will always be a part of me.
I can’t fully explain this one. I can’t even tell you which movie I watched that put me fully in Midler mode. What I can say is that whatever movie that was opened the door for me to rent as many of her films as I could through the 90s. I have always found Bette Midler to be extremely talented as an entertainer. Hocus Pocus. Beaches. The First Wives Club. All of her concert specials. Her albums. She has always been just consistently divine.
I couldn’t end this list without placing at least one YouTuber who became a part of my personality! There were many, and there are still many that I watch regularly. Markiplier, VanossGaming, Good Mythical Morning. Over the years on YouTube, I have watched so many talented, funny, and intelligent people grow their channels. Too many to list, really! There can really only be one who stood out as my go-to every single day for years. Seananners. Adam. #NeverTrustNanners. He brought a smile to my face so many times. While he isn’t as active on YouTube as he once was (or he may only be featured in other gamers’ videos), it’s still a joy for me to come across him!
There you have it, friends. A brief look into what makes up my inner world!
Yeah, I know. It’s no one’s favorite place. In fact, the majority of people I know dread going into this store. If, however, you are a reader and happen to find yourself in Walmart, take a walk around and see if they have a book section. My local Walmart does have a section. It wasn’t a big section to start with, and then they started remodeling and rearranging the store, so now it’s even smaller, and they don’t seem to be stocking much of anything. Even so, many locations have a section.
Ollie’s! Good stuff, cheap! Ollie’s is a great place to find name-brand items at discounted prices. Not everything is marked down enough to justify a purchase, mind you. If you go to a regular grocery store to buy a bag of candy for $17, Ollie’s may only have that same bag of candy for $15. We aren’t here to talk about candy, though! Ollie’s has very cheap books! Keep in mind, the stock isn’t consistent. You may go into Ollie’s one day, go through the books, and maybe find one that interests you. Two weeks later, you go back, and you walk out with a stack. The best part, though, is that when you do get that stack of books? They typically range from $2.99 to $7.99. I don’t think I have ever paid more than $4.99 for a book here. Great place to maybe find something amazing sometimes! Also, don’t forget the candy.
If it’s a limited selection of mass market paperbacks you’re looking for, DG has a bright yellow spin rack just for you! I don’t know how long that yellow rack is going to last since they are drastically cutting back on printing mass market paperbacks (publishers might even be doing away with them at this point), but they still have a small selection of books that typically lean toward random romance, thriller, and fantasy books. Honestly? Very rarely do they have any title or author I have personally heard of, but I did stumble upon what is now one of my favorite books of all time (more on that in a later post). Look, go to DG for the dollar aisle and some snacks, and sneak a peek at those books while you’re there!
There are very few things that can be used to bribe me. Books (naturally). Chinese food (total weakness). Pens (don’t ask). A trip to Dollar Tree. When it comes to books, Dollar Tree has them and, sometimes, they have some good finds! Even on the days when there are a bunch of lesser-known titles, a lot of them sound interesting! So many times I have been inside of Dollar Tree and walked out with a small stash of shame..I mean…books….books. Yeah. Just this past Monday, I was hopping from Dollar Tree to Dollar Tree looking for beach ball cups for my sister’s classroom, and managed to come home with 8 books. At $1.50 to $1.75 a book? Hell yes!
Those are the major players for me when it comes to physical stores and books. I will do a little more background research to share other locations I may not be familiar with or have access to. That post will come later.
I think I can put this blog on the list. I’ve definitely been enjoying my time here
Tylenol. Life Saver
I had planned to write something today, but this weekend has depleted my energy. Saturday, I spent hours on my feet, bending, crouching, etc., scrubbing walls and floors. Today, I had to run some errands, so I was on my feet for hours once again. “But Siemelle,” you’re saying, “you don’t need much physical energy to type and, surely, your brain is still working at 100 percent.”
You don’t know me, Belinda!
My brain is injured by association. By proximity.
Catch me later this week, and I should be good, Belinda.
If you could see my face right now, you’d see disappointment.
I have beef.
Not the fun beef that comes between two buns, smooshed with lettuce, tomato, and my choice of condiment.
You see, friends, I had a post all written out on Monday night. I was clever. I was hilarious. WordPress, though, is scared of how powerful I can be. So, instead of letting me share my brilliance, WordPress gave me an error and forced me to abandon my work. Nary a draft saved. Naturally, I took offense! How DARE you, sir or madam? How very dare you! So now I know why I can’t have nice things. It’s because of WordPress. You can’t convince me otherwise. It has now become my nemesis. More on that later.
There is no way I can re-create my previous post.
I was insightful, damn it! I was upset that it was Monday and I still had a week of work ahead of me, but I was alert.
This is the version of the tale Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde to beat for the time being. I enjoyed every second of this.
For the most part, it follows the novella. One too curious doctor. One creepy Hyde. Child trampled. Murder. Ending the only way this story could possibly end. Utterson does make an appearance in this version, but he doesn’t play a large role. Instead, we are introduced to George Carew, who is the father of the young lady, Millicent, whom Dr. Jekyll is courting. Yes, we have a love interest! Anyway, George is kind of a bad influence. At the start of the movie, he brings Jekyll with him to this bar? Bar? Club? Dance hall? Cabaret (Willkommen!)? I don’t know what to actually call the establishment. George brings Jekyll there to tempt his darker sensibilities in the form of a woman named Gina. Yes, sorta kinda but not really, love interest number two. Seriously, George? That’s not cool. He’s into your daughter, and here you are trying to provoke him with bare flesh. I’m going to say that the events of this story were, somehow, your fault, George. Accept responsibility for being a bad friend and father.
But! Jekyll didn’t fall for such trickery! No. I mean, he did go home and create a concoction that turned him into Edward Hyde, who THEN went back for Gina. He was not a nice person to Gina. Well, he wasn’t a nice person to anyone, to be fair. But I don’t know those other people, and Gina seemed kind of neat. Justice for Gina (spoiler: she totally lived)!
The standout of this film is the make-up used to create Hyde. Look, I make no secret of the fact that I am not a fan of using outward appearance to denote good and evil. The fact of the matter is, though, Hollywood is weird, and it was especially weird 100+ years ago, where “abnormal” and “evil” were often depicted by someone who looked “other”. At the same time, I’m kind of creeped out by this character. They did a good job, not so much with the make-up to create him (see my previous comment), but John Barrymore’s depiction was spot on. Even if this character had a conventional sort of beauty, he would have come across as creepy simply by Barrymore’s portrayal. That said, I am very interested in how Edward Hyde evolved in later versions of the story. Especially since there was a shift toward “boy next door as monster”.
The entire cast did a fabulous job! I mean, the Barrymores are Hollywood royalty for a reason. Everyone conveyed exactly what they intended through body language and expression.
Oh!
Guys!
The Last Will and Testament! It makes an appearance!
And that asshole, Dr. Henry Jekyll, didn’t leave me anything. WordPress had something to do with that, too, I know it!
It’s definitely worth a watch. Yes, it’s a silent movie. Yes, you have to read title cards. Yes, you have to interpret everything else based on what each actor physically brings to the table. But it’s so good.
8.6/10
In my will, I’m not leaving Dr. Henry Jekyll OR WordPress anything.
When I was but a child, I, like all children, had big dreams. Dreams of what my life would look like when I became an adult. Dreams of what my occupation would be (fuck, and my current job was not it). Dreams of what I would contribute to the world (turns out, not much!). Such dreams!
This post is not about those dreams.
Gotcha!
Everyone talks about what they wanted to be when they were children and teenagers. Me? I want to tell you what I never dreamed of being. Well, as far as occupations go, at least. I’m not trying to give myself an existential crisis by going too deep!
The correct answer is: none. There isn’t a job I would do for free. Now, there are occupations I would do even if they didn’t pay handsomely. Absolutely! Especially if they were jobs I, honestly, enjoyed. Sometimes, being in a low-stress position where something meaningful is happening, or even not having to focus so heavily on customer service, would be enough for me to take a pay cut. Yet I would still need to be compensated for my work. If I am giving you time – and that is far more valuable, a resource I can’t get back – you need to be paying me fairly for that time.
I said what I said!
Now, I had a whole post planned for today, but I got caught up with running errands. Now my entire body and being hurt, so I’m going to save my post for another day.
Here’s what is coming up in the next two weeks:
I finally watched another Jekyll & Hyde film. Look for my thoughts on that!
Part 2: where you can physically look for books (shout-out to all my book people!)
A more personal post (The one I was going to work on today, but was distracted by Publix and a new bookstore I found out about through the nice woman who works at the Chiropractor I go to)
Q1 – The books I’ve read that have stood out so far
I hope everyone (or…all five of you?) had a fabulous weekend!
If not, stop it. I didn’t approve of bad weekends. That request was denied.
Since my last movie roundup, I have watched six movies. In the interest of keeping things fresh, I’m going to switch up how I present the movies in each post. Today, I’m going to list the movies first and then give you which I rated highest, lowest, and which movie is smack dab in ‘meh’ territory.
Behold, the movies:
Primate Rage (2018)
Final Girl (2015)
Twisters (2024)
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1912) (Will not be included since it has a separate post)
Playdate (2025)
Tinsel Town (2025)
Let’s start with ‘meh’
Playdate (2025)
First of all….listen, I don’t ogle too often. Ogling is not usually in my wheelhouse. I am, however, human. So…
I don’t know who Alan Ritchson is. I have never seen this person before watching this movie. I am most happy that I was introduced, though. Okay, Playdate.
There is nothing about this movie to love, but I didn’t hate it either.
Things happened. A lot of action. It was fast-moving. There was some light laughter. The problem is that the storyline itself is ridiculous. Mainly the cloning portion of the story. I feel this could have worked better if that aspect had been axed and, in its place, something more grounded had been included. A heist. A bad soldier gone good and now the unreformed soldiers are trying to silence him before he leaks secrets. Would it have been covering new ground? Nope. Would it have been less jarring? Yes.
In the last ten years where I haven’t watched too many films, this has popped up numerous times on the few occasions I did feel like watching a movie. I have always skipped over it. This time, when it came up, I decided to give it a go. This is intriguing. The premise is strong. So strong that I found myself wanting to know the backstory of pretty much everything. Yet, while this is absolutely my highest-rated film of the six, it could have been so much better if the writers and/or filmmakers had filled in those blanks. As it stands, this is worth a watch. Gotta love Abigail Breslin and Wes Bentley. The other actors? Also kind of superb to be honest!
Let me just start by saying that I love Kiefer Sutherland. I have always loved Kiefer Sutherland.
The Lost Boys
Stand by Me
The Three Musketeers
24
Flatliners
Freeway
He’s handsome and so fucking talented that it hurts. I sort of just want to marry him.
It is with love that I say, I hope he never does anything like this again.
I’m not saying that he only has to play broody or villainous characters. Absolutely not. But this? This was a choice.
It’s not the worst movie I’ve ever watched. Not at all. However, it felt all over the place. It felt incomplete. It felt like everyone was uncomfortable in their roles. I’m so sorry, my love. Kiefer. Don’t leave me.
Here is the thing about depression: while there are commonalities in the way it appears in each person, no one experiences depression the same way. It’s an individual thing that just so happens to present itself in many ways. Two people can experience fatigue thanks to the disorder, but between the same two people, one may struggle to get out of bed while the other can go through the motions only with a healthy dose of anger lingering with them through their daily life. As someone who has battled depression (and anxiety) for quite some time, nights like this are amusing. Yes, I said amusing (and maybe a little distressing).
Tonight, I am dwelling. Dwelling is one of my depression features.
What this looks like tonight:
I got new glasses about a week ago, and they are cutting into the bridge of my nose. That part of my nose is now red and the skin is starting to peel a little. Yes, I purchased pads to stick to that part of my glasses, but the damage has been done. Realistically, I know that it’ll eventually (maybe) heal as long as I keep the pad in place. My illogical brain can’t stop thinking about the gross red mark and the skin that rubbed off. This leaves me wanting to rub and scratch which will inevitably make it worse. So, I dwell.
Tonight, I feel dirty. Not the fun kind of dirty, but the kind of dirty where I have convinced myself that I haven’t thoroughly showered recently (I have), that I smell foul (I don’t, I hope), and that even if I went in and took a shower at this very moment, I would emerge from the bathroom still feeling like hot garbage. So, I dwell.
I feel generally overwhelmed. There is nothing pressing going on at the moment. I am sitting here typing. I have YouTube on, shuffling between listening to people talk about books, watching movie reviews, and playing games. There is no reason why I should feel like chaos is surrounding me, but that is the way I feel. I’m stuck between wanting to do something productive so I can feel I accomplished something and wanting to close my door and hope that I don’t have to do anything at all for the rest of the weekend. So, I dwell.
Have you ever had to speak or perform in front of a large group of people? You know that feeling of anxiety that plants itself in the pit of your stomach, that feeling that gets worse and worse the closer you get to having to step foot on stage and address the crowd? I get that feeling often. I get that feeling when I’m lying in bed trying to sleep. I get that feeling when I’m just enjoying a movie. There is no rhyme or reason to it. I’ll be fine one moment, then, all of a sudden, I feel fearful of the invisible crowd I don’t even have to entertain. What’s wrong with me? I dwell.
I’m not sharing this information to throw myself a pity party (though if you wanna buy me a gift, I’m down).
Someone else out there is feeling a certain kind of way tonight. Their depression is on full display, or maybe they are fighting a silent battle. Someone. I don’t know who, but someone.
All Fauxn Up 